repulsed me coldly and said "Not so fast! Who taught you that?" Then she was silent a while, gazing fixedly at the lamp, and I, a good six feet away, into her face. O, her two blue eyes, her yellow curls, neat little nose and gentle mouth, her soft red cheeks, delicate ears, rounded chin, her snow-white neck - O, never in my life have I seen her equal. No painter, were he from heaven itself, could have made a more beautiful picture. If only, thought I, I could just once press a kiss upon her gentle lips. But now for the second time I have spoilt it all, and this time for good! So without more ado I took my leave. Coldly she said to me "Adieu!" and I once more: "Farewell, Anne!" and in my heart: Farewell for ever, my dearest love! But I could not so soon forget her. In church I gazed at her rather than the pastor, and whenever I caught sight of her my heart leaped up.[...]

31. Continuation of the love-story, but other matters besides:

My children, my friends, my readers, whoever you may be, I beseech you, leave me my foolishness! It is a delight, a sweet, sweet delight, to return to those blessed days of innocence, to conjure forth into the present the scenes of the past, and live once more those precious moments in which one has truly lived. [...] Forgive me, and if this disgusts you, turn the page.

Ännchen's stepfather was an empty-headed dram-seller, to him it was all one who came to sup his brandy. In a short time I was again on good terms with his daughter, and now and then enjoyed some exquisite moments in her company. This pleased my father not at all. He spoke very seriously to me, but all in vain, Ännchen was far too dear to me. At times he railed with fearful vehemence against that cursed drinking-den, as he called it, and held Anne for a loose-living wench, and yet God knows she was no such thing - at least, not at that time, but the best and truest girl I ever touched, nearly my own height and as slender and dainty in form as I could wish. But yes, it is true enough that she could chatter like a magpie. Her voice would ring out like a little organ-pipe. She was always cheerful and lively, just from the life that was in her, and this was the very thing that caused many a sourpuss to think so badly of her. If my mother had not from time to time warned my father against it, he would have intervened with sticks and stones.

So the summer passed. In no summer before had the birds sung to me so sweetly, I heard them with rapture every morning. When autumn drew on, we went to gunpowder-making, for about this time the bailiff Herr H. hired my father as a powder-maker. His manager, C. Gasser, was sent for from Bern, and he taught us the craft right from the first principles, so that in a few weeks we were able to master even the most difficult work. My father was happy to have me now at a little distance from Ännchen. I too controlled my feelings for a while - until one day the dear child paid us an unexpected visit. I was very afraid and said to myself, rightly: now there'll be trouble. [...] Next morning father began to preach to me, whatever he had seen - or rather, had wished to see - that was ridiculous in Ännchen, everything that he had heard about her - or rather, not heard but merely suspected - all was brought in to make practical application of his fine sermon. All kinds of bad names - in short everything that might make Ännchen despicable in my sight, was per se included. And indeed, dear as the girl was to me, I now made up my mind to avoid her company, because it was unlikely that father would ever let me have her, and because meanwhile many a hard-earned penny would be out of my pockets on her account. Yet to her credit I must not hide the fact that she never tried to part me from my money, no, on the contrary, on many occasions when I was buying a drop of brandy for her, she secretly reimbursed me for the cost. So one day I said to father: "I will go no more to visit Anne, I promise you". "That will please me", he said, "and you'll not regret it. Uli, I mean well by you. Don't make yourself so cheap. You're still young, and all in good time a good opportunity will come your way. In the meantime your chances can only improve. As for her, plenty of her kind are left when the hiring-fair is done. Do your best, pray and work, and stay quiet at home. Then you'll be a proper young fellow, and step out like a man, and I'll wager that in time you'll find an honest country girl for yourself. For the present I will always take care of you". So the winter came and went. But I kept my word but seldom, and saw Ännchen as often as it could be done in secret.


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