The Poor Man of Toggenburg - Autobiography of Ulrich Bräker

had to look them up. Often this was very difficult, or even impossible, for instance when the verses were in the Psalms or the prophets, where often the verses are extremely short and many almost identical. At other times we wrote to each other about which were our favourite animals, or about different kinds of food, which we thought most highly of, then again about clothing, stuffs and colours, which we liked best, and so on. Each one strove to outdo the other in refinement. Often I could hardly wait for one of these notes from my friend. He was much dearer to me in them than in his actual presence. This went on for a long time, until one day an impudent neighbour let out all sorts of dreary tales about him. For although I did not believe them, yet - it is a strange thing, to be sure - my inclination towards him diminished from that moment. A few years later, it was perhaps as well for us both, he fell ill and died. Another of our neighbours, H., also had children of my age. But I could not get on with them, they were too spiteful for me, maliciously inquisitive and could not mind their own business.

At this time our neighbour Jöggeli secretly sold me a tobacco-pipe for three kreutzer and taught me to smoke. For a long time I had to do so in secret, until one day a toothache

gave me a pretext for doing it openly from then on. And oh, what foolishness, I thought not a little of myself for it.

25. Domestic circumstances at that time:

Meanwhile, our family had grown to eight children. My father plunged ever further and deeper into debt, so that he often knew not where to turn. He said nothing of this to me, but often held secret council with mother. I overheard a few words one day, and so became as it were half aware of how matters stood. Yet it affected me very little; I went on my childish way with a carefree heart, and left my unfortunate parents to rack their brains over a hundred impossible projects. Among these, the plan to emigrate to the Promised Land had, to my great chagrin, vanished into thin air. At last my father decided to hand over all his goods to his creditors, and throw himself on their mercy. [...] All with one voice asked him not to take this lamentable step, but to take courage and go bravely onward, if he would only carry on his business as industriously as before, they would willingly be patient with him, and aid and advise him as best they could. He had a houseful of sturdy children, growing bigger every day, and able to lend him a hand, what would he do with these poor lambs out in the wide world?

But my father interrupted them continually in these warm expressions of sympathy, with: "No, for God's sake, no! Take this dreadful burden from me! My life is become a misery to me! For thirteen years I have hoped in vain for better days to come, and, no two ways about it, I have had no luck with our property. With all my toil and sweat and so many sleepless nights, I only dug myself deeper and deeper into debt. Nothing that I did, neither sparing nor saving, neither suffering hunger and want, nor working myself to the bone, in short nothing whatever has helped me. [...] There is all my property, take what you can find and let me go on my way in peace. It will surely be possible for me and my older children to earn a crust of bread for us all. And who knows what God in His goodness has set aside for us in the future!"

When at last our creditors saw that my father would agree to nothing else, they took possession jointly of Dreyschlatt and all its appurtenances, appointed a bailiff, made a fresh estimate, and found once more that it was not likely to make them a heavy loss. They therefore not only returned all the household utensils, furniture and tools to poor father, but also asked him to remain on the land until a buyer should be found for it, and to work it for a small wage. This, besides free lodging and plenty of wood, included summer pasture for eight cows, and land on which to plant whatsoever he liked, and as much of it as he wished.

Tobacco-smoking was widely used as a painkiller for toothache, and Bräker suffered from toothache all his life. An anonymous English traveller in 1830 said [p 61] that "the pipe is a necessary appendage of almost every man in the German part of Switzerland".

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