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Never in my whole life have I enjoyed the beautiful spring and summer days with more leisure and awareness, and observe all the beauties of Nature with more exactness and industry than ever, never, because I think that they are offering this beauty to me for the last time. Never did the earth bloom more fruitfully with its new life, never did the trees and the flowers of the field waft me more pleasant scents, never did the birds sing so sweetly and pleasantly to me. Dear denizens of the forest and singers of the hedgerow, sing once more to me for the last time your agreeable little songs. Next summer I shall hear you no more. Especially you around my home, the nightingale, the blackbird, the robin and the wren, I hear your voices early in the morning and late at night, I hear you in my chamber, in my bed, and thank your Creator! Never before did the rose blossom and smell so sweetly. I picked whole baskets full with sad but pleasant feelings, and will be sorry when their bloom is over. God's voice in the clouds, the rolling thunder still shakes the earth under my feet. In the quiet chamber of my grave I will feel it shake no longer. With more pleasure than before I enjoy the first fruits of my garden, and will likewise enjoy the rest.

Now all these good things outweigh, at least up till now, all bodily suffering and trouble by far. O had I thus used my earlier days of life, as I use these my last, if I had lived so wholly in and with Nature, and followed her precepts, then certainly my life's end would be more distant now. But now it is so and will not be otherwise, no matter how much I grieve over it. So I will not grieve! Only use the rest in the best way. Yes, as each new day dawns and another night's troubles have been overcome, I rejoice to be able to use aright the gift of a new day." [Voellmy, v 2 pp 344-349]

[On 12th July the Helvetic Republic passed a law exacting an oath of loyalty from the whole of Switzerland. This aroused much opposition, particularly from the churches.]

14th July "O you deluded man", says my governess, "that you can be always so cheerful, happy and lively, though you see your life's end coming with long strides. Alas, dying isn't child's play, don't you believe it. And then your sorrows and pains, and you don't know what greater ones may be in store for you. And then again the Almighty, on whom your future happiness depends. Alas, atonement, reconciliation with God is not so easy as people think, just you believe it. [...] Alas, I must say this to you, it is my duty. I mean well by it and I have sympathy for you. You know the will of the Lord. Well, he who knows the will of the Lord and does not do it, will be beaten with double stripes. Just think, you were for all your days such a Don't Care, you never troubled yourself much about the things of this world. Well, I have heard all my life that he who does not take care of his body will let his soul go to the bad as well. Alas, pray without ceasing while you still have the strength. In those last fearful hours one cannot pray any more. If you knew how much grief you are causing me, because I never hear you pray! Alas, pray more industriously, if you care for your soul. It is certainly high time. Just you believe it! Only think what an important step it is to wander from Time to Eternity. Alas, I too would more gladly see you weep than laugh and be happy. O how much more wholesome that would be for you!"

15th July "Thanks, hearty thanks, my dear governess, for the good you mean and for your fatherly

[sic]
care for me. Though I find a good half of it superfluous, nevertheless I thank you for your love to me and the sincere wishes and efforts to make me happy in the other world. It would, however, make me uncommonly cheerful, if you would do me the favour of letting me live out my last days as happy as my circumstances allow and as kind Providence itself permits me. For I must tell you, my dear governess, that we do not see eye to eye about everything. I do not believe that one gains favour with God nor man if one always hangs down one's head like a bulrush, and grizzles like an old woman, lamenting each and every pain.

16th July No, my dear governess, as concerns praying, I do not believe that so much chattering, calling out loudly and setting so much store by words is worth so much. I think that the good God has a very acute ear if only the heart is directed prayerfully. Only the heart must pray.


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