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believe these little animals of confused mind, just on their bare word, all that they tell us, no matter how improbable it seems. Surely that cannot be Thy will.

13th June Now, the wish and the ardent longing, that my invisible "I" might endure undisturbed and live on, that now sometimes smoulders in my bosom, would be for me a stronger proof of the immortality of my soul than all revelation. That strong desire to come nearer to Thee, ineffable Being, to penetrate deeper into Thy secrets and to marvel for ever at Thy innumerable worlds, Thy universe of wonders, and numberless crowds of wonderful creatures, and then also to see once more all those whom I have loved in life, who were for me my other "I", what joy that too must be!

14th June But reason, Nature, daily experience tells me otherwise, presses me back into the dust out of which I crept, and says to me: Little ant, poor little worm, this globe has brought you into being and takes you back into its bosom. Only for this was your life and existence appointed. You have not inquired into the millionth part of the wonders of nature on this small planet, nor would you find out the thousandth part of what is under your feet and in the air around your head, even if Nature had destined you to live a thousand years. Do you not see everything that has life and breath creep back into its former nothingness? Your puny little body and your proud little spirit, did they not also creep together out of nothingness? And are you not also declining back into the earth?

15th June O, I feel my nothingness, I feel that I am only a speck of dust lit up in the sun's rays, in this immeasurable universe, I am much too insignificant, too ignorant and too unworthy, to utter a single word about a higher being, a universe incomprehensible even to the wisest of mortals." [Voellmy, v 2 pp 335-341]

17th June "When I am good, I too can have angels around me, as if I was in heaven. For on our globe there do not lack good men, who have all the characteristics that we attribute to the angels, except that they cannot be everywhere at the same time.

19th June We know for certain, that we are always surrounded by angels and devils, that is by good and evil people. Yet one can say that the greatest number of these ants who creep about on our globe, are neither evil nor good. But more are good, for it is the working class which makes its own living, except that they must at times put up with having the fruits of their labour stolen by the idle drones. It is fortunate for our angels, for a company of noble and good men, that these devils, these most evil of men, are not of one mind, that always among themselves bite, strike and devour, but never rub quite well along with one another." [Voellmy, v 2 p 341]

[21st June The new government took over in St. Gallen. On 3rd July, after much wrangling, St. Gallen is named chief town of the new Canton Säntis.]

During the rest of June Bräker's health deteriorates further in spite of the efforts of Dr. Sulzer and Girtanner's care. He becomes increasingly indifferent to events, to everything except Nature and friendship. On the 26th he attends the funeral of a relative who died at 83, and thinks he will soon be going the same way. On the 27th he speculates about the clouds which are preventing the hay-harvest from drying. [Chronik, pp 465-466.]

28th June "The whole world will pardon me for being untiring in lifting my voice in praise of my only friend

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Girtanner had written off some of Bräker's debts to himself, and supplied Bräker with clothes. [Chronik, p 464]

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