The Poor Man of Toggenburg - Autobiography of Ulrich Bräker

21st June: The new government took over in St. Gallen. Schlatter writes that the Prince-Abbot is still sending proclamations from exile which are "interesting to read". The people who tore down the Tree of Liberty were whipped, the guilds disbanded and their property dispersed.

Bräker begins the year with a continuation of his thoughts on infinity and transience. "Lately a nameless feeling draws me onwards - the Spirit that animates all things - the Being above all beings - this feeling makes my hard-corporeal being as soft as wax - tears stream - they flow of themselves - and mingle with fiery praise and thanks - with groans of adoration to the Eternal - the Incomprehensible - the All-generous One". [Chronik, p 442]

He continues to bewail the lamentable effects of the war, first on other people, especially those who have no property, have large families, or are in the cotton trade. Then he addresses a word about his own situation to his readers, especially those who mock him in his difficulties instead of helping him: "My fate will always be what it will - if I have companions - I fear nothing any more - ...I belong to the lowest class of citizens of earth - but among this lowest class I value - myself as one of the most fortunate - the common lot of mortals - is indeed also my lot - but my genius is so kind as to alleviate the same - more than to others". [Chronik, p 442]

In January the weather has been very cold, but clear by day and night. Shooting stars have been seen falling from the sky. Bräker finds great pleasure in speculating about those distant star-worlds. "But to enquire, to muse - to make new discoveries "then truly all knowledgeable enquirers and so on have enough to do for their whole lives on this our dwelling-place." Nature is the teacher on our journey through life, so that she can lead us to the infinite, incomprehensible - Being - the omnipresent Creator of all things." In February the streams and rivers are frozen but the sun is thawing out the earth and spring is on the way. The clear nights lit by the stars and full moon give Bräker "matter for deep thought". But he has only himself with whom he can share these thoughts, no-one among his neighbours or family. [Chronik, pp 442-443]

1797 [Dated by the Chronik [p 443] at the beginning of February]: "From childhood on the mother has set them on to mistrust their father. She has always told them, don't believe him! He has munched up the new miracle-book of fools - believes neither in devils nor evil spirits - no sign of wrath in the heavens, no judgement of God can soften this stubborn man. Believe me, children, my mother, God comfort her, was a pious, shrewd woman, she told us that many hundreds of times. And my late grandfather and neighbour Hans were clever men, there's no-one like them nowadays. They said the same thing, that not a jot of God's word can pass away. And there it is written clear as day, that the world is sunk in iniquity, that God will send His judgement upon it and that beforehand signs will be seen in the sky, in the sun, moon and stars. And there we have it indeed, nothing but wars and rumours of wars, high prices and hunger.

The youngsters let it all go in at one ear and out at the other. Yet they are very assiduous in observing the established customs of religion, they go regularly to church, read prayers at morning and evening. Well, now, I have nothing against that. I would indeed be very glad to preserve the reverence of the All-loving God in my youngsters. I would like to tell them, that He is not at all such a wrathful and vengeful Being as people like to inform them. That He is rather an

incomprehensible

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Being, generous and loving above our understanding, of whom we mortals have few and yet mostly incorrect images and concepts - that much wrong is done to this highest Being by humankind, who are yet supposed to be the most reasonable of all his creatures, because all the evil in the world is laid upon Him and reckoned to His account, which yet is done for the most part by human beings for themselves". [Voellmy, v 2 pp 107-108]