- 191 -

the Creator did not give me feet so that I could sit around all the time on my backside and let them hang over the side of the chair. Just as I am happy to set out, so am I happy to come home again, and think myself lucky to dwell, where I dwell. But if one were to ban me forever from the high road, it would seem unbearable to me. I would envy every vagabond and beggar." [Voellmy, v 3 p 79]

17th-19th Feb. "Now, in God's name! Storms or no storms, I must be off to St. Gallen, to convert my few pieces of cloth and my yarn to money. Five o'clock in the morning - ghastly - horrible - but so be it! The slothful man saith: There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets! [Proverbs 22, v 14] Did I not remonstrate yesterday with these words a pastor who for the second time had set out to make a friendly visit, and both times was driven back from half way by such stormy weather? I said to him, since the weather is now so moody and capricious, I will be so too and bid wind and weather defiance. Ah, that's blasphemy, blasphemy! said the pastor

151

. I made excuse that I meant no harm by it. But I thought that for my part you can always turn back. I will nevertheless bid defiance to all storms. So I tramped on with no other company but my dog's through drifts and eddies of snow as far as Wasserfluh, where I thought to look out across the mountain, to see if there was any sign of sunrise. But I splashed into a muck-drain that was frozen over and covered with snow. After that I got up as far as Dicken. But there the storm redoubled its strength. Flurries of snow whirled round me so that I could hardly keep my eyes open, I struggled on through deep snow as if in the darkest night. And the wind roared ever more strongly as I came up the slope. Often I had to stop for a long while to catch my breath. I often thought, indeed, of my pastor's "blasphemy, blasphemy" and partly regretted my thoughtless words of bidding defiance. I thought that it would indeed be no great matter for this raging element to bury me entirely in a drift of snow (for often I was near to being so) if the All-Highest should will it so. But I never had any idea of defying God Almighty, nor to measure my strength with that of the elements.

So I still peered through the dark flurries of snow, looking for a house where I might seek refuge under some roof or other. But I still had far to go, before reaching a house that stood on the old sledge-track, which is still marked out with stakes. And by the side of the track the going was impossible. As soon as I lost the old track I stuck fast up to my armpits in snow, so that I had great difficulty in working my way out of it. Then I thought again of turning back, when I was floundering about in that mountain of snow, and looked like a statue covered in white plaster. But I was already half way there. I should have to work my way back with just as much trouble, for my footprints were blown away behind me as I walked. Moreover, if I turned round the wind blew straight into my face. So I waded onwards, exerting all my strength. On the highest part a wood afforded me some shelter. Going through there the snow was lighter to wade through. As soon as the road went downhill again I made better progress. At last, quite tired out, I reached Schwellbrunn, which lay deep in snow, no-one dared go outside the village, except for a few who were digging out the deepest snowdrifts with shovels. But next morning all was covered again.

There I had to stop for a breather and give my tired body a little fodder. Then I had to plough on down the hill. Not a footprint was to be seen until I reached the valley. But the storm was somewhat abated. No, I thought, no! Never again in all my days will I cross this mountain in such weather. My defiance has cost me dear. It has taken me six hours to do what I usually do in three, and just the hour's journey down the mountain has cost me three or more. I had my midday meal in Herisau. Then I took a sleigh to St. Gallen and back to Herisau, for my legs would carry me no further. I did my business as well as I could and hastened back. I spent the evening contentedly.

On the night of the 18th the storm returned to the attack. The whole village of Herisau was a wild whirling cloud of snow. Now you certainly can't go home tomorrow, thought I. I won't be

151

The pastor reproves Bräker not for complaining about the bad weather, but for saying that he can overcome it, because to his way of thinking this was defying the God who sent it.



Contents