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over and so gradually creep upright - We determined a place - at the home of my godfather - where we should drink a glass of wine together and chatter as long as we liked - meanwhile I scrambled upright and wanted to go there, I stumbled and awoke, and my old friend will still be going about his business in Strasbourg.
There was joy for me in this dream, when I heard of the coming of my dear Bertold - delight when I saw him coming - bliss to hang upon his neck - bathed in tears of joy - I imagined happiness when I should be at the appointed place and hear his tale from his own lips - and share my own story with him - Old age - weakness - I forgot it all for joy - Until I stumbled and awoke - then I was vexed to find it all a dream - Yet I was happy at the thought that its fulfilment was still in the realm of the possible - and that I am still not yet so old and weak -" [Voellmy, v 3, pp 52-54]
16th Jan. A heavy fall of snow and low temperatures have provided the right conditions for using sledges. Bräker says that this delights the lads who want to ride and the girls who want to be driven, and also pleases those who want to take timber to market. [Chronik, p 316]
17th-18th Jan. Bräker trudges through the snow to Kappel, to settle accounts with Hans Jörg Hartmann, and finds that he has made 350 guilders less than last year. Salome gives him a bad day about it. [Chronik, p 316]
25th Jan. At Lichtensteig Bräker receives from a "worthy friend"
27th Jan. Bräker grieves over the diminishing attendance at the Moral Society's meetings, the members "... either from wanton scorn or on account of trivial business matters, [fail] to attend this noble assembly just once a year. And of this scorn or neglect many, and those the most respected, members are guilty... O scandal! That's what comes of reading all those fine books, people will say." [Voellmy, v 1, p 57]
29th Jan. Bräker writes an attack on Meyer, accusing him of having an extravagant lifestyle and extravagant ideas to match, and saying that Meyer's immoral life does not give him the right to criticise other people: "He speaks in such a high-falutin tone about improvements useful to the community and yet he himself is generally of more harm than use to human society". [Voellmy, v 1 pp 59-60] [This could well be a draft of the writing mentioned on 3rd February, see below.] Bräker notes that Meyer took a full part in the rowdy behaviour associated with Shrove Tuesday.
1st Feb. Bräker cannot read or write much in the evenings because the only light is needed by the rest of the family, who sit up well into the night spinning and chattering loudly. So he smokes his pipe and goes to bed at nine or ten. Dreams often make up to him what the day has failed to bring. [Chronik, p 317]
3rd Feb. Bräker writes a satirical essay about Meyer's speech, and shows it to "a dear friend",
10th Feb. Bräker looks back on his past life and regrets that he was brought up to think that feelings of love were wrong, nor did he appreciate the beauty of such feelings. [Chronik, p 318]
On the 12th he continues: "God is love. Either there is no God, no Creator of all things visible and invisible, or He is Love itself. Whatever can ever have been named and there's no love in it, is a smearing of dirt and filth of evil, by him who is known to us as the Devil. I may turn my eyes
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