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for a good part evaporated and is lost for ever. Then I think (just like the fox in the fable
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): "And in the end, why waste all that ink? Not in your whole life will you become a real author!" And truly for as much as a year at a time it has not entered my head. Sometimes, when I have been reading the works of a good writer, I have wished never to look upon my scribbling again, but at the same time I am quite convinced that at my time of life I am not likely to learn better, and must continue as I have begun, writing that which has neither head nor tail to it, sometimes not even a comma or a full stop, dripping black on white for as long as my eyes can tell the difference..."1st - 4th Jan. Bräker again suspects thieves around the house, he and Salome take turns to stay awake. During his spell on the night of the 3rd Bräker watches the play of the clouds by moonlight and starlight. Some arrests are made in the region but they are only "innocent foreigners", some are Italians. On the 2nd, as usual on Wednesday, he visits Andreas Giezendanner. He collects some money owed to him, which serves as a new-year present for Salome, who has been driving him hard lately. [Chronik, pp 204-205]
23rd Jan. Bräker quarrels with Salome and his sister-in-law Susanna over money given by the guardians of the poor to Bräker's brother Johannes, who has been almost blind for a year. Susanna objects because accepting this dole will mean that she cannot go out in good clothes. [Chronik, p 206]
8th Feb. Bräker writes of his neighbour, "poor Lise", who with her two daughters can earn only two guilders a week. He reminds himself of her situation whenever he thinks of his own as desperate. [Chronik, p 207]
11th Feb. Bräker takes his eldest daughter Anna Katharina to the annual fair in Lichtensteig, "because I have always believed that young people should be helped to enjoy their amusements, and be taken from time to time among people, so that they can learn to know human nature and how to behave in society". Salome takes the opposite view, but when she goes on from lecturing her daughter to beating her, Bräker intervenes. [Chronik, p 207]
21st Mar. "Hay is running short - no prince - no philosopher knows what that means - the poor mountain peasant knows; hunger for themselves does not hurt them so much - as to see their cattle hunger, making plaintive cries." [Chronik, p 208]
22nd Mar. "My brother and the kite""After an uneasy sleep, when I got up, let down a shutter and peeped out at the weather, a magpie was strolling in front of my window over a yarn-pole and chattering in her own language. Quick as lightning a bird of prey, one of the great kites, shot down upon her. She tried to save herself by coming near to my window, as if she were looking for help from me. But he smote her to the ground, looked straight at me with his great eyes, so near that I could almost have reached my hand to him - a single last shriek - there was none to save. Quick as an arrow he shot off with her towards the gully. I felt sorry and would have willingly saved this bird though otherwise I dislike them. But it all went quick as lightning and the happening touched my heart. I thought of the ancient Romans and made all kinds of speculations: Such as, if my brother were this magpie and the hellish bird of prey had so carried off his soul.
Yes, such comparisons have already been made by many ancient and pious fathers of the church. But no - the All-Merciful would take care of his own. But death? Yes, yes, death could be this thieving kite, just so might he snatch away my brother. But what then? Suppose it was a sign for me? My brother already lies in death's jaws. And the magpie walks about and chatters so carefree up and down the stake. What if the evil one lurked on slippery paths like that? Alas, I know the hour no more than this bird, and just like her I stump hither and thither. What can I do?
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The fox in Aesop's fable who, unable to reach the grapes he coveted, said that they were sour.
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