My pleasure is in stillness, in remote corners, in the leafy bushes and under shady trees. By the stream, where the ravens fed the man of God, on the hill where the ancient sons of heaven built their altars, where the shepherd David climbed round the heights with his sheep, on the mountains, where my dearest friend, the best man that ever lived on earth, so often walked, where the dew fell on Gideon's fleece and Boaz winnowed his corn by night

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. O ye still, lonely places, where my joy and contentment live, where heaven is so friendly towards me and round me everything becomes bright, bright, all well and easy, where I pour out to Heaven my heart so full of sorrow, tell out my needs, and then I feel so good [...] I will trust that my last hour may be like this." [Voellmy, v 2 pp 170-171]

4th Feb. "O that my hand could fly in such happy times! Why must it be so stiff and take several hours to scribble down one thought, when thoughts roll out one hard upon another, and the expression of them flows right to me, to write down the memory of these refreshing times, and I can hardly steal a bare half hour to do it. [...]" [Voellmy, v 2 p 172]

5th Feb. Vexed by problems in his business, including a complaint that his yarn is of poor quality, Bräker in the evening welcomes a pair of musicians into the house, against the wishes of his wife, but he and the children enjoy a concert on the fiddle and dulcimer. [Chronik, p 158]

15th Feb. After several days of vexation with his business and still worrying about a falling-out with his brother a month earlier, Bräker finds that Salome has made one of her sons read his [Bräker's] diary aloud to her. [Chronik, pp 158-159]

27th-28th Feb. "... Dear God, I grumbled, why must I writhe upon these roads like an insignificant wretched worm, and yet at the same time float in other worlds, from one cloud-cuckoo-land to another? Can I not stay awake and waking enjoy the finest and best of this real world? Ah, you charming fir-tree-wood, refreshing little spot (look, look, already an idyll that will never return), soft moss at your feet, zephyrs whispering in your tree-tops, and the gentle sun glancing here and there through your branches and painting a place of green silk, where the shadows of your tops play and the pigeons and the titmice danced around you. When I found my Grethel here, how the angel had me in raptures! Here in a lonely wood, where a thousand trees hid us from view, what bliss to be alone with that divine child in the thick bushes! Isn't it true! Bushes have no ears! But yet, they are witnesses, the birds are witnesses of the bliss, the joy, the sweet joy that penetrated my heart and all my limbs. When I here in the deserted airy grove caught sight of my charming Grethel! Not in Solomon's chambers, in the halls of princes, in polished drawing-rooms, on the dance floor, in the theatre-lodge, no, never so beautiful, so engaging, so bewitching of soul and body as here, between the rough trunks of the lonely firs. Alone, quite alone with the angelic child. Heaven, you may have seen it, her form, her gentle features, her sparkling eyes, the swelling of her bosom, heard the ardent breaths, how honey flowed from our lips, balsam from the tongue. How, seated upon soft mosses, we so tenderly embraced and yet trembled to be immodest.

     Blissful innocence! How we shared the thoughts of our hearts, drank ardent love in an embrace, until the too early twilight withdrew from us our happy time, but provided us with sure guidance, not yet half refreshed, arm in arm unnoticed to return across the dreary moor, by quiet pastures, to the dwelling of my dear Grethel. When we were not as soon arrived as we thought. Sweet pleasure, when I embraced the gentle child so eagerly, yet softly, pressed her to my bosom and so swung her over all the fences, and then the parting, the farewell! O what a memory! So, am I not foolish? No, I am still so happy because that hour of refreshment can call back such rapturous bliss of body and soul." [Voellmy, v 2 pp 172-174]

[Neither Voellmy nor the Chronik speculate on Grethel's identity, but the latter says that Bräker was remembering something from the past. There are some similarities to his account of dalliance with Käthchen, mentioned in his "Confessions" (chapter 79 of the autobiography). I think she may have been imaginary - I can't see Bräker, hardy though he was, trysting out of doors in February!]


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These are references to the Bible. "My dearest friend" probably refers to Christ.



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