100
came to my house, just as I was leafing through the history of Brand and Struensee101
, and some of my scribblings were lying on the table. "I would not have expected to find this in your house", said he, and asked if I was at all fond of reading and often wrote little pieces like these? "Yes", said I, "after my business that is my only pleasure". From then on we became friends and visited one another as often as possible. He put his small collection of books at my disposal, but in financial matters he was more ready to accept my help than able to come to mine, though I let him know of my circumstances in a roundabout fashion.At some time in one of these years the said society announced essay competitions on various subjects, open to all men who lived in the region. My friend encouraged me to enter for one of these; I was much inclined to do so, but made objection that they would only laugh at a poor wretch like me. "What if they do?" said he, "Go on, write down what comes to your mind and your own opinions, as simply as may be." Well, I wrote "Concerning the cotton market and credit", and sent my scrawl in at the proper time with all the rest, and the gentlemen were so kind as to award me the prize of one ducat. Were they merely mocking me? No, indeed. Or perhaps it was done in consideration for my straitened circumstances?
In short, I could not understand it, and was all the more amazed, now that several of them went on to invite me to become formally a member of the Society. "Oh, God forbid", thought I, and said as much at first, "I could not even dream of such a thing. I should soon be shown the door, for sure, and even if not, I don't want to put the respected gentlemen to shame. Sooner or later they will find me unfit for their company." Finally, however, after a great deal of hesitation, I was greatly encouraged by one of the officers, Herr Giezendanner, who had taken a liking to me, and I dared to present myself for election. I can moreover assure you that it was not vanity that tempted me, but the desire to gain access, for a small fee, to the fine library of the Society.
102
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Johann Ludwig Ambühl:
Johann Ludwig Ambühl was born in 1750, and so was considerably younger than Bräker; from the age of twelve he was assistant to his father in a private school in Wattwil. At the time of his discovery of Bräker's writing he had just taken over the school from his father, and he had been a member of the Moral Society of Lichtensteig since 1771. He was a man of many interests, which included geometry, drawing, music, and the study of Nature. In the loft of his house he had a "Kunstkabinett", a collection of curiosities: mathematical instruments, models of the
100
This was Johann Ludwig Ambühl, who had just taken over his father's school in Wattwil.
101
The Chronik [p 92] implies, though not stating so precisely, that Ambühl's visit happened in the first week of June 1773. Bräker was reading "Bekehrungsgeschichte zweier dänische Grafen" [The conversion of two Danish counts], by Balthasar Münter. [Count Struensee was the lover of Queen Matilda of Denmark (sister of George III of England). He and his friend Brandt were barbarously executed in 1772 for this and for political reasons.]
102
In the later edition of Bräker's autobiography published in 1789 in book form, Füssli adds a footnote: "Reader. Go into your chamber, shut the door behind you and blush for shame! - and ask your Father, that sees in secret, for the flower of all virtues - for modesty like this!"
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